Funerial musings - on my birthday no less
My sister sent me a link to this blog - very interesting. Kicking Buckets and Whistling in the Dark. I never "got" the idea of an open casket and all that until my husband's stepmother, Louise, died. She had a heart attack on a Monday and her husband Leo did the heart compression, but didn't know to do the breathing on her, so she had severe brain damage. We flew in the next day, and Paula and Bill, her children, drove up.
She was in ICU, on a ventilator and covered with bruises to her face where she had fallen and hit the table during the heart attack. The doctors said she had only brain stem activity and no higher brain functions at all. We took turns staying with her so she would never be alone. During that time, she would occasionally move her eyes a little and we would have a burst of hope that she might recover. The doctors said all that was strictly reflexive.
We all sat down together to decide if we should remove the respirator. Leo was so distraught, he just knew he would be the one to die first, as Louise was 10 years younger than him. We all prayed and talked and prayed and cried and Leo authorized the doctor to remove the respirator. Poor Leo, he just kept saying he wished he had never called 911, that he couldn't stand to see her like this and that he never wanted to go through it. After the respirator was removed, she continued breathing on her own for about two more days, then died in the middle of the night. Keith and I had just turned our shift over to Bill and Brenda about an hour earlier. The next morning we were all in her room, and it was so amazing looking at her body - there was no question that she was no longer in her body.
At the funeral home, when we had the viewing, she looked so pretty and peaceful. It was so nice to have that as a last look at her, rather than how she looked those days in the hospital. In the hospital, her hair was all matted and messy, she was all bruised, no make-up of course. Louise was one that always wore full make-up, even to go fishing, and always had her hair styled just so. Looking at her in her coffin, dressed in a pretty dress, all made-up, her hair done - it was nice. Like the blog said, she didn't look alive, she looked peaceful. It was definitely a blessing.
She was in ICU, on a ventilator and covered with bruises to her face where she had fallen and hit the table during the heart attack. The doctors said she had only brain stem activity and no higher brain functions at all. We took turns staying with her so she would never be alone. During that time, she would occasionally move her eyes a little and we would have a burst of hope that she might recover. The doctors said all that was strictly reflexive.
We all sat down together to decide if we should remove the respirator. Leo was so distraught, he just knew he would be the one to die first, as Louise was 10 years younger than him. We all prayed and talked and prayed and cried and Leo authorized the doctor to remove the respirator. Poor Leo, he just kept saying he wished he had never called 911, that he couldn't stand to see her like this and that he never wanted to go through it. After the respirator was removed, she continued breathing on her own for about two more days, then died in the middle of the night. Keith and I had just turned our shift over to Bill and Brenda about an hour earlier. The next morning we were all in her room, and it was so amazing looking at her body - there was no question that she was no longer in her body.
At the funeral home, when we had the viewing, she looked so pretty and peaceful. It was so nice to have that as a last look at her, rather than how she looked those days in the hospital. In the hospital, her hair was all matted and messy, she was all bruised, no make-up of course. Louise was one that always wore full make-up, even to go fishing, and always had her hair styled just so. Looking at her in her coffin, dressed in a pretty dress, all made-up, her hair done - it was nice. Like the blog said, she didn't look alive, she looked peaceful. It was definitely a blessing.
posted by colbysmycat @ 12/31/2006 12:03:00 AM
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